FEI President releases request to WEG athletes to make Dressage a bloodier sport.

Surprising competitors and fans alike, the FEI released a statement earlier today calling for more blood.

Attention Coaches and Athletes:

Gaining mainstream publicity for Equestrian Sport is a task we work at tirelessly, and it is a necessity if we wish to continue our sport in the fashion we've grown accustomed to.

As you know, the FEI has taken certain liberties over the years, loosening our enforcement of rules. These deliberate actions were to promote our sport to a broader audience. An audience who would be inclined to invest in Equestrian Sport if it proved more exciting.

Our research concluded these steps were a complete success.

The most talked about ride of the 2010 WEG, that of Adelinde Cornelissen and Jerich Parzival, had the entire internet (facebook and twitter) abuzz.

Since that ride we've received countless requests for “more blood” in Equestrian Sport. The general public wants to see more action in the Dressage arena. Because of this outcry from potential fans, we're making a special appeal to this year's 2014 WEG Athletes.

Please, we need more blood.

The FEI realizes that not every Athlete will have the courage to take up this banner, which is why we've indiscriminately sent an appeal to every competitor from every country; including the countries not currently being represented in the 2014 WEG.

The source of blood doesn't seem to matter to our effervescent young potential-fan-followers, just the amount. The small trickle that appeared from Parzival's mouth was enough to catch their attention, not keep it.

It doesn't even have to be horse's blood, it could be your blood, the blood of your trainer or coach; even pig's blood is acceptable. We encourage you to get creative.

We need your commitment to help make Equestrian Sport more entertaining to the crowds.

Together we can make this the bloodiest World Equestrian Games ever!

HRH Princess Haya, FEI President

It will be anyone's guess how individual athletes choose to respond to the FEI President's call for blood. The more popular trend has been moving away from blood towards ischemia, more commonly recognized as a blue tongue.

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6 Comments

    1. I was wondering the same thing… ??? I did a quick web search and didn’t see anything about this… So confused…

  1. I’m assuming this is some sort of a joke, if so it’s done in VERY poor taste. It doesn’t read like a joke or satire at all.

  2. Of course it is satire, and good satire is supposed to jolt you into wondering if it’s real or not. The only “bad taste” here is that left in my mouth, knowing that the FEI continues to let such incidents as the one noted at top to continue. For heaven’s sake, they even allowed a horse to compete in endurance that would have been a slam dunk starvation case in any country’s humane laws! As this satire indicates, they are fully prepared to sacrifice the horses at the altar of money. I don’t like to believe it, but the evidence is mounting dramatically!

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