As the years pass and our lives change, I find that so too does our relationship with the horse. Not necessarily our relationship to one particular horse, but rather our association to horses. If we grew up with them as our most beloved during childhood – how does adolescence, college, family or work fit into the picture of our involvement with horses? For those jumping in as adults how does interacting with horses change your family/career dynamic? Does it?
Perhaps even better to ask – does it have to?
Personally, I have allowed many of my own life’s changes to slowly yet persistently creep in between me and what I truly love the most – horses. My involvement with them has ebbed and flowed, changed roles and appearances. Never-the-less my heart continues to cry out for what has always been, and I imagine always will be, my one true love in life – to be deeply imbued in horsemanship.
I recall when I was young completely immersing myself in everything horse. I watched videos, read books, scrolled through classified ads and endless horse tack catalogs. That was just in the little bit of free time I had which wasn’t much. The rest of my day consisted of the bare minimum involvement in school (I was lucky enough to attend a private school that was 2-3 hours less class time than public school and zero homework or required after school functions) followed by the maximum number of hours allowed by my parents (and the barn) cleaning stalls, grooming horses, feeding, watering, bathing, riding, so on and so forth. Generally my parents could be found rolling up to the barn around 11 PM in an attempt to move me along more swiftly and get me into bed for school the next morning.
Since that time I have allowed the idea of other pursuits to cloud my judgement – somewhat. I do not regret one single moment of those distractions because they have allowed me to become more educated in a variety of fields that enable me to be a better equestrian. At the same time they have pulled me away with ideas of becoming wealthy, well-known, comfortable, secure, HAPPY. And they have all failed miserably at providing any of those things. Instead I am left – presently without interaction with a horse – un-wealthy, unknown, uncomfortable, insecure and UNHAPPY.
But at the same time I am also left with this great sense of drive in the pursuit of the horse. I find myself daydreaming again about what will (eventually) be. I am watching videos, reading books, not so much looking through tack catalogs since I’ve acquired almost everything they sell over the years.
I am distanced at the moment from a real horse, but in my heart I feel closer than I have in years. There are projects I am pursuing and plans in the works. There have been no other passions in my life if this is what defines a passion – the indeterminate drive that leaves me more ambitious and energized!