Of course movies depict similar cases of complete breakdown in the edit button and even in a person’s moral code – movies where people are somewhere out in the woods, terrified and being chased and pretty soon they are murdering their friends. I actually watched one last night come to think of it. One of the characters was attempting to rescue his friend who he thought had been kidnapped and in the end he tried to saw her in half. Believe it or not, humans are capable of being more animalistic than civilization would like to believe or allow.

Having something public, such as a blog, puts a person in the face of criticism at any time they decide to post any opinion. I have known this and I take no issue with criticism – true and real criticism that is. What other kind of criticism is there? Well, there are comments which begin by calling me an “utter MORON” and go south from there including cursing. I wonder at times, would the people who write this sort of stuff have the gall to express those same sentiments to my face if we met in person at random? Say they ran into me at a dinner somewhere in public, would they yell and shout, scream curse words at me and call me names to express their dislike of my opinion?

I cannot take their comments or proposed opinion seriously now, they have committed a cardinal sin among arguments – if you have a reasonable and true argument you ought to be able to win your case without behaving like an upset toddler in the sand box. Don’t throw sand in my face, it only disinterests me further in the case you are pleading. Have you ever seen the mothers trying to win an argument with their child in a store – the child losing it to a temper tantrum and the mother obviously losing the battle by even entertaining the notion that her now irate tike could possibly find sense in her reasoning. I always feel bad when I watch those transactions, and do not believe in entering into them in face to face meetings or online.

As equestrians we see this as well – riders getting into fights with their horse for whatever reason when there is no real reason to fight with the horse. Those are all real world examples however, and where I am pointing is the web. How does the disconnect between people on the web make it the perfect breeding ground for hostilities? I blame it on responsibility – or the lack of. There are a lot of things that people are willing to do on the web, that they would shy away from doing in person, under the guise of believing that no one outside of that small interaction will ever know. If you have never used the Wayback Machine, then you may be in for a surprise believing that simply using the delete button solves every problem…

The use of anonymity and usernames instead of real names helps people mask themselves from being instantly identified. A small fish in a big pond in the real world can mold and bully themselves into the big fish in a small pond somewhere on the web. I encourage you to visit any number of horse forums on the internet to see this phenomenon – generally the smaller the membership on the forum the higher ranking one individual is over the rest. And this is great, an ego stroke for someone who so badly wants it that they seek it out over the web.

I wonder, if someone knew that every person they would meet in real life were going to perform a thorough Google search on them, completely trace their background interactions across the internet – would they say they express themselves in the same way? Would they scream at others who disagree with them, call them names and otherwise throw a virtual temper tantrum?

Further still – what occurs in their barn when no one is watching and their horse expresses an opinion they do not like? Do they lose it with their horse, yelling and screaming, perhaps yanking and whipping them because name calling is not punishing enough? If I lose any respect for a person who first insults and then attempts to argue their opinion, what does that say about their horse’s opinion of them should they use that same tactic in the barn?

My all time favorite has always been the person who goes overboard in insults, cursing and name calling while interspersing it with an argument that they take the best care of their horse, their horse loves them and its work, their horse is the most well cared for and loved animal. Why does this sound like political banter to me? You say you do x, y and z for your horse, all while you are clearly unable to control your anger and upset over a simple opinion.

Digressing a bit – what does it mean to be an honest and responsible equestrian and what does that have to do with online interactions? I will refer again to the movies, only because most everyone has seen a movie like this before. The angry, insecure man who yells and screams, throws tantrums and beats on his wife/girlfriend/etc. What does everyone who is watching the movie know about this person? That his argument holds no value – he is resorting to the lowest form of response which has absolutely no connection to the original subject matter. His girlfriend thinks that tonight would be a great night for chicken and rice but he thinks it should be steak and potatoes – so he breaks three of her ribs and gives her a black eye while screaming that she is a less than honorable woman so to speak.

If we are honest I doubt that this kind of anger builds – why would it? When a person is honest and responsible for their opinions, ideas, beliefs, etc then why should they have to resort to bullying tactics in order to convince others. Better yet – what does it matter if others disagree with you?

When I blog, I stand behind my opinions unless someone can reason to me in a way that makes me think differently. I hope that most of my readers know I am fully open to their differing opinions should they give me a fair argument in return and in return I encourage others to do likewise. If we want horsemanship to progress for the better this is a means of doing it – not by throwing sticks and stomping our feet like toddlers, but by using our thoughts, ideas and words.

Horse racing movies are not new, even those in which the horse is the primary theme. It is hard to think that an equestrian has not at least heard of if not watched countlessly as a child such movies as “The Black Stallion,” “Black Beauty,” (1994 or 1971) and “National Velvet“. One of the more recent, “Seabiscuit” left me terribly disappointed – not so much with the story line as it was built on the true story of Seabiscuit, but rather with the way it was filmed.

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Unlike Seabiscuit which was released by Universal, Disney has really outdone themselves on the filming style of Secretariat, with so many camera advantages that bring you up close and personal you really feel you are a part of the action. The biggest difference between these two movies? Probably that Otto Thorwarth who plays Ronnie Turcotte (Big Red’s jockey) is a real life jockey making his acting debut. Seabiscuit’s jockey was played by the actor Tobey Maguire, limiting how realistic the shots could be of him racing a horse. My good friend and jockey Frankie Lovato, Jr. was involved with the making of Seabiscuit where they employed the use of his Equicizer Mechanical Horse for many of the close up shots (and a big hello to Frankie if he’s reading this). I felt there was an advantage in their casting a genuine jockey for the role, and for making his debut Otto does not disappoint or overact his part.

The overall film reminded me of Disney’s older movies, some of their classics. Actually brought to mind “The Parent Trap” movie for some reason, likely the era that it replicated. It combines a great story line, humor, just enough drama and plenty of action to make for a great family film.

Diane Lane who plays the lead character and Secretariat’s owner, Penny Chenery Tweedy, found a place in my heart as a talented actress a long time ago and she certainly does not fail me in this role. Many other recognizable faces are found, including the always funny and usually quirky John Malkovich who plays Secretariat’s trainer, Lucien Laurin. If you watch Nip Tuck and True Blood you are certain to recognize a couple familiar faces as Dylan Walsh plays Penny’s husband and Nelsan Ellis as Eddie Sweat, Secretariat’s groom.

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I have never really known the story of Secretariat aside from his remarkable feat in winning the Triple Crown by an insurmountable lead at the Belmont Stakes in 1973. This film puts you right into the story and makes it grow on you, almost taking it personal. From the coin toss that determined Penny Chenery Tweedy would get Secretariat over a second foal born by the stallion Bold Ruler that same year, to the finish line at the Belmont, you are pulled in and kept thoroughly entertained.

Unlike many of the horse racing films I have watched, this one didn’t feel as though it was played up merely to entertain the uneducated public. There weren’t glorified scenes of having to calm a crazed animal down or show him who is boss, rather the story line stayed central and that made a big impression on me. I think that for other equestrians watching this movie that may also be a feature that stands out.

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Secretariat opens this Friday, October 8th (also my birthday!) in theaters. It is worth watching on the big screen for the great racing scenes and truly is a movie for both kids and adults alike.

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Have you ever been pitched by a sales person who lacked all elements of confidence and charm? Who seemed nervous and uncertain about just what it was they were selling and the reasons you ought to be buying it? I know I have plenty of times. And then there are the salesmen who are so confident and smooth that you almost want to beg them to sell you whatever it is they are peddling. Naturally there are those who seem ‘overconfident’ by being pushy and high-pressure, but that isn’t really confidence in their product so much as, imo, desperation to turn a buck.

All three of these types of people can also be compared to equestrians when it comes time to training. There are those who lack confidence – perhaps due to their own self-esteem, the amount of knowledge they have on the topic at hand, their belief in their abilities, etc. Then there are those are are so confident in themselves, in what they know, OR (and there is a reason this isn’t an AND) are so relaxed about the whole concept of selling that they aren’t personally attached to whether you buy from them or not. Finally there is that last pesky sales personality – the one which is willing to shove their product down your throat if it will mean you pull out your wallet and show them the money.

And just what is being sold? You are selling your language, ideas, requests, wants, needs and dreams to the horse. We are all equestrian sales people. You want the horse to buy into the idea that you know what you are doing and you definitely want them begging for you to sell to them. Some riders are naturals – just as some sales people are naturals at getting you into that overpriced but oh so shiny car – and others will bobble back and forth between the three various personas.

Example 1 I think of as the emotional riders – they are feeling their way through and can at times attach the outcome of their attempts to some personal flaw they imagine exists. Their successes or failures dictate their next move which means they are not in control of themselves and will never been in control of the situation or the horse they are selling themselves to. While they might get frustrated with the horse they are less likely to take their anger intentionally out on him but may be less inclined to jump in the saddle the next day and do it all over again. Sometimes self-defeating with negative talk about their abilities but not always.

Example 2 I hardly need to illustrate. I think we’ve all encountered someone who just seems to mesh with you. They make you feel at ease and comfortable at once, make you yearn to get to know them and just be around them. They are calm and collected even if what they do is absolutely crazy. It is like the world spins around them rather than them just being along for the ride.

Example 3 is unfortunately a common sales technique that equestrians use. Based on the idea that it is through physical force that we make the horse understand us, the horse is there for our use and pleasure and should do whatever we ask whenever and wherever without question or hesitation. Wow, that was a run-on sentence if I’ve ever seen one… They too will take some things personal but will be more likely to take it out on the horse intentionally either to ‘establish dominance’ or ‘teach him a lesson.’ They will likely refer to the horse at some frustrating point as a jerk or other unsightly curse words. They try to control everything through force and dominance but will never actually have control because they are reacting and overreacting to their environment and the horse’s actions.

So where do we want to be when we pitch a sale to our horse? Ideally for me would be to find position as the calm, cool, confident and ‘natural’ equestrian salesman. I want to know what it is that I’m selling so well that it just flows like water in recitation, and there is nothing personal taken from the interactions.

I used to tell my mom and students that when you go out to work with the horse, be business like. What I mean by that is when you are in a business all of your interactions are straightforward. There are corporate policies in place to address every issue and so you don’t have to pull something out of thin air – so long as you are familiar with the policies. There are never any screaming matches because you act civilized with one another. Drama should be kept to a minimum because you aren’t working in reception but rather in the executive suite where such interactions are not acceptable.

Working with horses is also a mix of building a relationship, but not a drama filled personal relationship like you would with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The best salesmen you will find you genuinely like and in many ways you wouldn’t mind befriending them. This is what I strive for when working with horses. You are professional and business like while also building a rapport that incites the horse to be interested in your company, to trust you. Now, as for being knowledgeable and CONFIDENT in what you are selling, that comes by taking lessons, going to clinics and lectures, reading books, watching videos, interacting with other equestrians – and then going out and practicing the pitch with your horse day after day.

Let’s just say that I’ve considered myself to fall into a variety of these different habits – of trying once, twice, thrice and then giving up and moving on or of sticking to my guns for a great many years before finally realizing there is a better way. Equestrians must encounter trials like this every day. Do you choose to keep using the riding method you just started or have been chasing for a decade, or do you move onto something brighter and more shiny?

Fortunately and unfortunately, there are no hard and fast rules, only individual judgement based on your past experiences, the individual situation, and the input you’re likely accumulating from those around you. Sometimes it is the crowd that is more difficult to change than your own mind… but I’ll leave that for another time.

I think of my time first learning dressage, I stuck to it for a couple of years, repeatedly going over the same lessons time and again and then once more for good luck. But never really got anywhere. I kept thinking to myself that either I was really stupid or dressage was extremely difficult – most of the people around me confirmed the later but I couldn’t quite agree. I’ll say now that it was neither, but instead the manner in which I was being taught dressage that was difficult and exhaustive – and altogether not unlike what everyone else out there is doing for all intents and purposes.

So when did I choose to give up and change? About two years in when I had an odd opportunity to ride with a man who taught Classical Dressage based on Baucher, the French school and his own great many years of experience. And then I found successes.

It has come to my mind that not everything difficult is good, but lately even more I think that nothing good is difficult. Certainly it may not be simple or come overnight, but the push behind you to keep pursuing it is what lacks that difficulty.

Recently I started training for a job, and from two it was extraordinarily difficult to push myself forwards. The training itself was not hard, not in the least bit and I continually told myself that all I had to do was NOT give up and walk away and I would get through it. Does that really sound like the sort of job I’m going to enjoy down the road? I didn’t think so either. The second another job opportunity arose my individual push SHOVED me hard in that direction and is continuing to do so.

Horses have been much the same for me. The learning curve has not been easy in many ways – I have never thought myself naturally inclined to anything about horsemanship except perhaps being able to see a horse’s emotions from their communications – and still the push has been so simple as to carry me 15+ years down the line and still emphatically in love with these hairy beasts (and quite affectionately referenced as such!).

When have you experienced moments that giving up came just a few tries in and others it never even occurred to you?

For anyone who has never had to let go of their horses I will tell you it truly breaks your heart. I have been in relationships with people before which have ended and never brought me an ounce of how much hurt letting go of one of my horses has. I am not writing this to expound on my hurt feelings though, but instead to point out what I have been learning in this process.

I have learned that no matter what, horses will always be the greatest love in my life, the greatest passion and the driving force behind my happiness.

I have learned that it was never showing, competing or even riding my horses which brought me that happiness. It was simply interacting with them in any regard – just finding their favorite scratching spot meant as much to me as any shallow training achievement.

I have learned that letting go of my horses does not mean I’ve stopped loving them. That I can let them bring happiness to other people without forgetting the great friendship I’ve had the pleasure of knowing with them.

I have also learned that there are only a few people who truly understood just how much I loved my horses, how deeply I appreciated them and that they will always be more to me than just ‘pets’ or some form of recreation to me.

With that, I have also learned that there are many wonderful people out there with big hearts that I have been able to share my horses with and entrust to. People who I will be eternally grateful to for the love they can give back.

And in closing, I have also learned that I cannot give up horses altogether and will find a way to be reconnected with them.

No, I am not giving up my horses. Yes, I am selling several of them – possibly. Mostly I know that something is going to change as far as my involvement first hand with horses, likely rather drastically, and I don’t know for how long. I have had horses in my back yard saying good morning to me for the last 11 years and been able to nuzzle up to them to get a lung full of horsie every day before that for another 4 years. I’ve made it through some of my college years, full time jobs, moving 2000 miles from home and back, and still always had one of my horses near and dear to me.

Now, I will be moving again, this fall as accurately as I can tell, but have made no plans to bring a horse with me this time. Those I keep will be stay at home on the family farm to be loved on by my parents. Those I am not keeping will find loving homes before I go… although there is still debate and continual indecision of how many, who and whether any of them will be going anywhere! :) My mom and I both have big hearts and these are our babies, so it is difficult to decide whether to sell them or just keep them as pasture potatoes.

This is in small part why the blog has been so quiet lately, between my semester finals at school and working on moving details the rest has been on the sidelines. Besides that I have been wondering what it is that I wish to write about, as the Rollkur issue has abated (though not necessarily with due reasoning) following the banning of Rollkur and allowal of deep and round? It seems that with summer’s arrival all of the pent up winter energies that had a focus and direction begin to subside temporarily. Good or bad.

I took up painting this semester, and while my original plan was to major in Nutrition Science it was this class that completely changed my outlook. So… now I am looking at art schools in the Seattle area. As some of you may know I’ve done a lot of designing in the past – digital wise, so this isn’t completely off kilter for me to think of going into the arts. I have always had a love for paintings and it was some of this that made me start up a horse art magazine last fall called Haute To Trot Magazine.

“Knabstrupper Foal.” Oil on canvas.

Some of these are what has gotten me thinking about what causes a person to move on from being directly involved with horses to being indirectly involved, or even leaving them altogether. I have girlfriends who were horse crazy as children, still are deeply in love with horses but for various reasons have moved away from them. Some are financial and others are emotional. I have also seen myself moving away in other ways, as I watch and learn and grow and ask more questions I find fewer reasons to compete, to train the horse to all of my whims and fancies, or to have a specific goal as pertains to the horse. I can find understanding with equestrians who work with horses on experiential levels, those who keep them as companions rather than for riding. I see the value in the relationship with the horse when it is interactive and fair, but that is not something that accompanies working with horses and making money directly from them. So in that regard I feel I am moving away, giving some distance.

In other ways I hope that I am moving closer to the horse. I hope I am learning to see them in new lights and gain wisdom from the interactions I have with them. If for nothing else our horses are amazing teachers!

Oh, and I know this is a bit of a rattling post, do forgive me. :) I may have something more organized for the next one!

Never fear, I will be hosting my next radio show March 1, so be sure to tune in. And, don’t forget you can also call in as a guest, and if you pre-register on the site before the show you can also add to it’s flair by chatting along with us and even posting video and image media. A truly interactive experience!

Link : AIR Radio Channel

Random Wholly Whole Ness (written 02/10/2009)

Oh your breeze, drift my way please, every second of every deez.
Yes, yes it is mine part of mind.
I’ve even bought a bit of it just to remind.
Even if after all remembering is just much to much too kind.

I’ve grasped back into my hand, that week long bliss, of which I was much amiss in the missing of that kiss. I laugh thinking now, skipping in my rhyme of time trapped blind ness, mess. And happy ness, mess. Giggle.

Take my hand and feel the energy spin, through and through, like my soul is touching you. Always eyes, always looking, without looking, without gazing, without opening my lids or blinking. But tears still escape, I am not closed off from you, never, ever. For goodness sake, see this space?

Week won, or one, the one needed to be won. It was justified by the tide of perusive and wholly conclusive conductivity between two persons of lide. Yes it’s real, I made it up.

Wanting, not needing, desiring, holding, grasping, cradling. a dedication inside of knowing without the knowing that everyone else wants or thinks they need.

Bucolic Sleeplessness (written 02/17/2009)

good morning sunshine, do you know who makes the Star shine? after some decline it now sublime. runaway mind, stopped by a kitty napping indignantly upon a lap divine, a lap now wine, a lap all mine. would one dare label asinine?.. altruistically of heaven rhyme, to pair one line to ultimate crime, shut out the light. even hemmingway found himself a sweeter kind before departing although less a grace for me. sigh melodious pause in time. and they do turn left to no chance of Fates to forget about but by way of bravery in bucolic charm. somehow i was time to disarm…